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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24414304">Unwell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildekinder/pseuds/wildekinder'>wildekinder</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, based off unwell, by matchbox twenty, jasper is unstable, mention of suicidal thoughts, monty loves him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:55:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24414304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildekinder/pseuds/wildekinder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not crazy, Monty.”</p><p>“You’re not.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Jasper whispered, laying down in his bed and staring up at the white ceiling.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Monty Green &amp; Jasper Jordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unwell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mentions of thoughts of suicide.</p><p>Read at your own discretion.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He hadn’t moved in what felt like days. In reality, it had been about five hours. Just staring. He didn’t even know what he was staring at, who he was staring at.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">But they were nice, usually. They were his friends. Not like Monty, more like Murphy. They weren’t always gentle, but they were funny. And every once in a while they’d tell him he deserved to die. But, they were still his friends.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">And, at night, they looked out for him. Some of them did, anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Some of them were bad.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“You should get some rest, Jasper.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“You’re worthless. You’re good for nothing. Nobody misses you. You deserve to die.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Don’t listen to that voice. You need sleep. Tomorrow might be good.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He listened to both. He did sleep, but not until nearly five in the morning. The reality of how awful he was truly coming out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">When he woke up he felt drained. It made sense, he only had a few hours of sleep. About four if you added it up, definitely not consecutively.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">But he didn’t feel </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s3">that</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s2"> kind of drained. It was an emotional tired he was feeling.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I don’t know, Monty. I just-I just feel like I’m heading straight into the eye of a tornado. Like i’m going to lose it all. My life, my shit, I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">The man sitting across the table look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Is there a reason?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Is there supposed to be?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Monty looked at his best friend, concern drawn all over his face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Maybe I’m just crazy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">It made sense to Jasper, it seemed like the only thing that made sense these days. He didn’t know why Monty was his friend, he didn’t know why he saw all these shadows, he didn’t know why he felt like he was heading towards a breakdown. But it sure felt something like what he assumed being crazy felt like.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“You’re not crazy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“What am I, then?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Monty stopped to think, eventually coming up with a conclusion and looking Jasper directly in the eyes. “You’re just a little unwell. I know it doesn’t really seem like that right now because it probably feels like your world is falling apart. But, you’re not crazy. A little judgement impaired, possibly. I see how you used to be, though. Before the world ripped it all away. I see a different side of you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">——</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He didn’t think it would be this soon. He knew it was coming, but not today.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Because, if he had knew, he wouldn’t be on a train right now to a job interview. Being curled up in a ball on a public train screaming at strangers wasn’t how today was supposed to go.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He was supposed to be getting a job, putting his life back together. He wasn’t supposed to be dodging glances and talking to the shadows to calm himself down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">And he could hear them, he could hear the voices. Not his friends, the people on the train. The ones calling him unstable, neurotic, </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s3">crazy</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s2">.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He knew they were right, he knew it. Monty was wrong, he was just clouded because they loved each other. He’d known it for years, he had lost his mind. Long ago, he went crazy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I’m not crazy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He repeated the statement to himself to drown out his friends, and the strangers on the train.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I’m not crazy. I’m <em>not</em> crazy. I’M NOT CRAZY!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">All the attention was now on him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I’m not crazy,” he stated, quieter, calmer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I-I’m just a little unwell. I know there’s no possible was for any of you to know that. You just see me as I am right here, right now. But, I’m not. I’m not crazy. I just need help. And if any of you cared, you’d help me. Because I talk in my sleep, and I see shadows and they talk to me, they’re my friends. I have breakdowns on trains and I yell at strangers because you don’t understand. And if nobody helps me, they’re going to take me away. They’ll come, and they’ll get me, and they’ll lock me up. I don’t want to be locked up. Please, please, please, somebody help me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">——</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“You’re not crazy, Jasper. You’re just unwell. You’re going to get better, I know it. I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Monty wasn’t sure if it was the right decision, bringing him here. It didn’t seem like it was. But he knew he would get the help he needed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I’ll come visit whenever I’m allowed. Work on you, Jasper. With no distractions.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I’m not crazy, Monty.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“You’re not.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">And before he realized, Monty had already hugged him, already turned around, and already driven halfway home.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“I’m <em>not</em>,” Jasper whispered, laying down in his bed and staring up at the white ceiling.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Monty loves Jasper I swear.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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